I can’t believe it! I found some of my Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers comics… well, to be exact, my original small size “The Adventures of Fat Freddy’s Cat 1-3″ (don’t know where #4 went).
I was an underground comix freak once upon a time and long, long ago.
I thought I gave away or sold most of my old comics but every once in a while I’m happily surprised to find tucked in with old papers, books or boxes something I didn’t know I still had. Ah, the old “Rip Off Press.” Wonder Wart Hog… Thank you Gilbert Shelton! We know you’re still out there, if not in the US. “Not Quite Dead” indeed.
Oh Sweet, Sweet nostalgia returns once again.
This is my latest find:

Since I’ve been on a massive pre-holidays cleaning spree (and my house is a complete wreck at the moment) I’ve been finding some really interesting stuff.
R. Crumb, Vaughn Bode (Cheech Wizard), had saved all the early National Lampoon Magazines and somewhere around here are the original premiere 2 years of Heavy Metal.

Sigh. I have to stop now, emotionally it’s a mix of fondness and nostalgia mixed with that annoyance and sadness that I gave most all of it away or sold it a long time ago in order to “finally grow up…” which I of course I didn’t successfully do. No one should give up their basic interests for others or the pressure society puts on us all… never really works for anyone in the long run.

And yes, that is the sound of my head whacking against the wall you hear.

Every once in a while I would go to an “insert title here”-con and inevitably I’d end up standing browsing through whatever old comic books the vendors had there. At first it would make me happy because I love the format to this day. The good feeling however would usually change quickly to wishing I still had all my piles and piles of comics. I was looking through a table of comics the last time I went and realized I had owned all but one of the old DC standbys on hand. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Justice League, Lois Lane, Supergirl, Hawkman, Green Lantern, Aquaman, remember the Teen Titans? I won’t even move on to Marvel I’ll just get snuffly.

Aaaaarrrggghhhh. Well, they’re mostly gone.

My comics were replaced over the years with collections in book form, not as satisfying as having the old stacks of comics around. I did (of course) acquire a taste for graphic novels of which I have quite a lot. Treated myself to the set of 4 Absolute Sandman books and got them signed for Christmas last year… Neil Gaiman is really quite amazing. Now what shall I do this year? Hmm.

Anyway, I very happily read the three Fat Freddy’s Cat comics and found a fitting place for them in my personal bookcases where they will be safe from harm (and battling cockroaches). Ha.

G’night,
I wonder what I’ll find tomorrow!

Laura

I caught two interesting musical performances on tv recently that brought a smile to my face.

The real treat (for me anyway) was Ray Davies on David Letterman Wednesday Nov. 18. Now I really liked the Kinks in what seems like ages ago, but the Davies brothers Ray and David seemed to have trouble relating to each other over the years and the band had it’s share of meltdowns between various members. Still when they worked well they were pretty darn good.

Ray’s voice isn’t anywhere near what it used to be BUT he sang the 1964 single, “You Really Got Me” with the Crouch End Festival Chorus.
Quite outstanding. A different and enjoyable CD too.

The Kinks Choral Collection

The other performance was the Barry and Robin Gibb duet on Dancing with the Stars.
They harmonized to “You Should Be Dancing.”
And yes, maybe we all should be dancing!
Made me remember going to see a very young and very skinny John Travolta in the movie Saturday Night Fever. Good times.
Now let’s see who in the world did I go with…
Oh my God… it was… it was… my husband. Ha.

Wow, kinda like having a 60’s/70’s flashback… not unpleasant, just kinda odd. Ha.

Well worth searching You Tube for the clips of both but especially the Davies/Letterman clip!

G’night,

Laura

Celebrated my birthday last week! Hooray and all that jazz.
Fairly quiet birthday this time.

Went out to dinner with my husband. My favorite restaurant people (Front Street Station/The Old Barge) got steamers (soft shell clams) especially for me!
I ate two portions as they are one of my favorite foods and I haven’t had them in quite a while. LOVED them!
And I got a candle in my dessert cheesecake too!

Pretty nice.

So anyway I turned 53 and while most women won’t give their age,
I have no big problem with it. I’m damn proud (and maybe even a little bit lucky) as a matter of fact to have made it this far.
I have no desire to go back to the days of my youth for many reasons (though I wouldn’t mind losing the arthritis I’ve acquired over the years).

I was born on Thanksgiving day… ruining (so to speak) both my mother’s Thanksgiving and her doctor’s too. Ah well. Every so often my birthday falls on Thanksgiving but it hasn’t for a while now.

Cooking 21 pound turkey for Thanksgiving. Should be good, I’m not sure how many people are coming as of yet but it doesn’t matter because Thanksgiving is by far my favorite holiday!
Good food and family.

Happy Holidays everyone and G’night!

One of the things that our government is good at is overspending and wasting money. There are many different areas that we could “gather” the money for a health care overhaul that would benefit everyone but hell, it’s far more fun to fight over it than to actually DO something helpful and (gasp) visionary.

Public health care for the masses is the moral high ground for all our people. It’s of course not going to happen, at least not now.

Everyone seems to be saying if we get coverage for pre-existing conditions and a few other morsels we should be happy… Bullshit. Here’s why:

I’ve spent a bit of time these past few months going from doctor’s office to specialist and back again, what I’ve noticed in all of them consistently is this fact stated in a sign posted next to the receptionist’s window:

We don’t accept: Medicaid, Blue Cross, Aetna, GHI, 1199, etc, etc, etc. Not sure what they do accept but you’re out of luck if you have any of the numerous insurance companies on the list.
They want their money up front. Period. And “no we don’t have a payment plan.”
Now I don’t know about you all out there but the one thing I don’t have much of to spare is free cash.

My son needs dental care. Dentist wants minimum of $1200 before he does anything… The others we called say he should get a loan to cover it.

If doctors and hospitals don’t have to accept your insurance (and they don’t), then what happens if they don’t choose to “Participate” with the public option? NOTHING really changes.

If everyone is forced to get health insurance the same old issues will come up. They’ll just be framed differently. The only folk that will make money on that deal is the corporate giants that are the health insurance companies themselves.
Hey too bad sick folk ’cause “No pain, no gain” works well for the insurance companies, doctors, pharmaceutical corps and hospitals anyway. That certainly could be their motto (well second to “greed is good”).

Sorry but most of our senators are corporate whores.

Which brings me to Joe Lieberman… I dispise Lieberman. I hated how he berated the democratic candidates. I hated how he aligned himself with the “anti-community organizer, anti-cosmopolitan” crowd. Called us all elitists? I thought before the election that Lieberman should have been tarred, feathered and thrown out of the democratic party (and Connecticut too). I still think the same. Can’t stand Rudy Gulliani either. Wish he’d leave NY.
Seriously Guys, you don’t like cosmopolitan areas that desperately need community organizers to exist? Apparently Mr. Connecticut and Mr. New York have forgotten where they come from.
And I’m an east coast elitist social worker I suppose…

Lieberman is stating he will filibuster with the Republicans if the Public Option is included in the health care reform bill.
And that he will likely campaign for a number of republicans in the 2010 elections.
Connecticut needs to rethink it’s position on Joe.

You see Joe is trying to put forth this “I’m a true independent that will do what ever I think is best (yea right) and I will stay true to my heart” defense.
Hey Joe, how about you let Connecticut and the rest of us know what the hell you’re talking about. Because you’re supposed to be representing those that elected you not yourself and those insurance companies that are based in Connecticut…
Can you say campaign contributions children?

I’m disturbed by Joe’s arrogance.
For now you’re an elected official.
For now the democratic party (that has no spine when it comes to sanctioning you) spends it’s time placating you.
But perhaps now your re-election isn’t as sure a thing as you’d like it to be…

Just the thought of Lieberman’s whiny voice droning on for hours filibustering makes me shudder.
At least I don’t have to listen to it and my prayers are for those in the Senate that will have to listen.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
I hate our political system and our politicians are getting more and more ridiculous.

G’night.

There are many reasons I don’t care for treasury secretary Timothy Geithner.
It’s not even the job he does or doesn’t do that effects the way I feel the most.
It’s mostly the verbal and visual issues I have with him.

It may seem superficial but honestly every time I see him featured on a show like this weekend’s Meet The Press (Sun. 11/1/09) I find it harder and harder to listen to him talk. It annoys me even more to watch him.
Actually I do better if I don’t look at the tv set while he’s on.

Geithner might be the most brilliant (debatable) guy on the block.
He may know economics and the banking industry really, really well, but…

I hate listening to him and watching him.

He has weak mannerisms, his voice wavers. He has a hesitant talking style which doesn’t help me to have faith in what he’s actually saying. He looks down too often. He appears tentative even when he obviously believes in what he says… but when he has to qualify or avoid a direct answer he looks so pained that it’s painful.

He tucks his chin downward and it looks like he’s afraid that he’s going to get clobbered by someone.
The last time tucking your chin in worked for anyone was Lauren Bacall circa 1944 in To Have and Have Not with Humphrey Bogart. It worked then because it gave her a smoldering sexuality not because she looked sheepish and uncertain. Sigh.

I rest my case...

Big brown cow eyes don’t help either. Blink, blink. (Well, at least he doesn’t wink at cha)

Maybe it’s just me, but many others seem to exude confidence in the things they say (even the insane or totally dishonest ones).

If Barack Obama had these mannerisms it would have been far harder for him to get elected.
Hey, I’m just sayin’

G’night,
The Yankees are playing now and I need to watch…

Laura

I’ve always been a regular reader of William Safire’s Sunday NY Times “On Language” column in the Magazine section. He wrote about language in general, proper grammar (or the lack thereof), correct usage and the origin of words for thirty or so years. He wrote many books and was awarded a Pulitzer Prize as well as many other awards. We didn’t agree on politics but I loved his work “on language.”

William Safire died on September 27, 2009 at seventy-nine years of age in Maryland of pancreatic cancer.

William Safire 2006

I found over the years of correcting my own language errors that most people could give a rat’s ass about proper language usage or for that matter even simple spelling. Now I’m pretty sure you’re not imagining a rat’s ass at all here and that’s the interesting thing. We string certain words together to arrive “voilà!” at an understanding of meaning different from the intrinsic definition of each word alone. It’s fascinating to me.

Our nation is rife with grammatical errors from the bottom all the way to the top. Editing programs have no idea whether you meant “form” or “from” but it really can make a big difference with many words.
*

If you correct someone on spelling or content they look at you like you’re an anal retentive perfectionist nutcase these days. The “Well, you get what I meant, so what’s your worry?” crowd doesn’t care.
AAaaaaarrrgggggghhhhh this makes my head want to explode.
The juxtaposition of two simple letters or terms can change the meaning of everything going from clarity to confusion and misunderstanding in the few seconds it takes to see, hear and of course to repeat the mistake.

Spelling, grammar/syntax and meaning are important to expression and communication in any language.
As Willliam Safire pointed out many times in his sunday column, quite often with a considerable hunk of humor, we don’t care enough about where words and phrases came from and why they are used or misused so commonly. He was there to illuminate the language path and educate whenever it might be possible.
*

Language should not need an interpreter to convey intent and meaning.

In the area of communication William Safire was incredibly talented.
One of my language usage gurus, so to speak.
I know I could never be as good at proper usage and conveying meaning as he was.
However, I could enjoy his column and try my damnedest to keep trying, inspired by someone that shared a great interest in language and words with far greater ability.
Was my interest in words encouraged by by Mr. Safire?
Definitely.
*

Rest in peace William Safire, you will be missed in this household.

To everyone else that doesn’t care one whit about words or how they are joined together to convey meaning other than “Where’s the remote?” and “I’m hungry!”: I will never give up.

Oh well, like whatever, you know, dude.
Or in my case would it be dudette, dude-ess, or probably just “hey lady?”
Oh, I just dunno.

I know people like Jay Leno’s “Jaywalking” segments on the Tonight Show and they can be funny but isn’t anyone else bothered by the lack of language understanding many people have (not to mention the lack of general knowledge).
It makes me laugh but I really want to cry at the same time.

G’night
And she smiles…
Literally.

Well, it seems that I either have a bad cold or the flu at the moment.
I’m rather discouraged, quite congested, throat hurts and pretty achy. Ugh.
Very tired and easily upset. I feel like something that the cat wouldn’t even bother to drag in.
AAaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh.

All I seem to be able to think about today is how much I miss my mother.
Having her nearby kept me on a calmer path through life.
In many ways knowing she was there grounded me.
Having a bit of trouble getting that feeling back.
No one else seems to have that same effect on me and I’m not sure why.
I’m not even sure why I feel the way I do.
We weren’t as close as we could have been by a long shot.
Even though I never really took advantage of her shoulder to cry on,
I always felt that no matter what…
No matter how, where, when or even why…
She would ultimately be there for me if I really needed her.
In a true time of crisis she would accept me and help me.
As she did with others that I guess needed it more than I did.
I think it’s the possibility of going home if one needed to.

Now it doesn’t matter. Home would have been where ever she was.
She’s gone and for now my memory pains me.
I’m impatient, angry, sad, emotional and wishing I could hear her voice today. Tonight. Right now.

Wishing she would make me a huge pot of that homemade chicken noodle soup for the sick body and soul.
Instead I opened a can of generic chicken noodle soup and added water.
Adequate but not even close to what I wanted.
Feeds the body but not the heart and soul.

When everyone left to do what they had to do and I was alone, I cried.
I cried a lot today.
I know that she’s only been gone since May 30 and that it takes time to grieve.
Especially if you put it off and try to avoid it by doing things you have to do or others need you to do but…

I expect that my mother could tell you that putting yourself last isn’t always the best thing to do,
But she did it over and over anyway.
I also know she was very strong or at least always appeared strong… so no one accepted it when she wasn’t. At all.
I knew when she wasn’t more than anyone else.
I wasn’t fooled.
I’m not at all good at fooling myself either.

I miss you mom. I miss you one hell of a lot.

I hope I feel better tomorrow. Being exhausted and miserable surely isn’t helping.
Gonna make another cup of hot tea, take some decongestant and go to bed.
Need some sleep.

Tomorrow’s another day.

G’night

In a funk today that only my car seems to get me out of… and only while I was driving it. Feel exhausted and had a very unproductive day (for me anyway).

Somewhat adrift.
Not feeling that good. Not sleeping well at all.
Neck hurts and major stress pain in my chest once again
Having issues with everyone but mostly myself…
Don’t like much of anything about me at this time and place.
Still going through mom’s stuff/house/figuring what to do with property and there’s a lot to figure out.
Family issues.
Everything issues. Everything.
Just sad, angry and resigned to feeling alone even while around people right now…
Wondering if it’s wholly grief or things brought to the surface by it.
Just can’t fathom it out, surely not today anyway.

Where ever you are mom, I miss you.
It never was perfect but you tried harder than anyone I’ve ever known.

An old song has been running through my head for about two weeks now.
So I dusted off my Styx cd and played it far too many times already but…
My mind always tries to tell me things through music cravings. Odd huh?

Anyway the lyrics do seem to fit my mood somehow:

*******
I used to like to walk the straight and narrow line
I used to think that everything was fine
Sometimes I’d like to sit and gaze for days through sleepless dreams
All alone and trapped in time
All alone and trapped in time

I wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me
Or am I even in it’s mind at all
Perhaps I’ll get a chance to look ahead and see
Soon as I find myself a crystal ball
Soon as I find myself a crystal ball

Tell me, tell me, where I’m going
I don’t know where I’ve been
Tell me, tell me, won’t you tell me
And then tell me again.
My heart is breaking, my bodys aching
And I don’t know where to go
Tell me, tell me, won’t you tell me
I’ve just got to know.

Crystal Ball/Styx
*******

Going to bed, way past exhausted and it ain’t helping my mood at all.

Laura

The Billionaires For Wealthcare is a group protesting the extreme capitalist healthcare system we currently have while trying to counterbalance the very loud group of “teabaggers” (yea, I know but it’s their term though), 9/12ers, town hall yellers and people that don’t want government in their healthcare (or anywhere else it seems). Well, that’s if it doesn’t interfere with that rampantly socialist program Medicare of course. Public option indeed.

Extreme capitalism doesn’t belong in healthcare… regardless of how the system is “fixed.”

Look I’m angry too but this anger against Obama is displaced. Even if you don’t like Rachel Maddow watch this video at least until you listen to the Billionaires For Wealthcare “song.”

I loved this:

Billionaires For Wealthcare Site

We need to get far more vocal as moderates, liberals, progressives, compassionate conservatives and anyone else that wants to stop this relatively small group of angry folk from speaking for yelling over all of us.
They are currently running rough shod over the healthcare reform debate.
Comeon Obama you need to actually head this reform with far more passion and leadership.
We’ll have no one but ourselves to blame if they win and nothing gets done while we all sit trying to be reasonable but not speaking out with our own passion for change.

Profit driven healthcare is morally and ethically wrong.
I repeat:
Profit driven healthcare is morally and ethically wrong!

Get off the sofa (it’s not good for your overall health to sit there anyway), get out (yes, outdoors) and show that the voters that elected President Barack Obama WANT the changes in healthcare he spoke of with such passion before.

We don’t have billion dollar lobbyists to represent our interests but we can vote, be active and speak out. That’s not subversion it’s DEMOCRACY.

I’d hate to see the jaded disillusion that I’ve acquired over a lifetime of watching politicians break promises… touch the faces of my children, who voted for Obama with such conviction that change would actually come.

Let’s take back OUR government from the far, far right. NOW please before it’s too late.

Going out in the sunshine.

Laura on Long Island.

Cars are great therapy in many different ways.
Some people love driving and it makes them feel really good to be driving. For others a stick shift and the ability to drop it down and drag it out is sheer heaven (yes, that’s me).
You can laugh and cry in your car, work out anger and figure out a problem. You can sing (loudly) while blasting your radio (not as pretty to those outside if done in a convertible). You can argue with yourself or tell people to take a long walk off a short pier in complete safety (well, unless it’s by cell phone- then don’t do that!).
Some people were never ever meant to be passengers.

My therapist

And never underestimate the psychological satisfaction and value of cleaning a car. Washing, waxing, polishing, detailing, buffing, caressing and yes, finally just standing back to admire without touching. Betcha smiling!
Elbow grease for the soul I say!

How long can you wait to go from the admiring to the driving stage? Everyone’s different.
For me it’s about maybe a few minutes. I want to be driving that silky, shiny beautiful machine.

Anyway, fact of the matter is that having a car that is a little bit more than conservative and practical is understated as therapy. It’s no less expensive over the long run than a therapist and unless you have really difficult issues to deal with (then of course you should have a therapist too) it soothes the soul. Cars satisfy the senses. Maybe people that don’t care about cars don’t understand that.

A car that you truly enjoy is a fantastic best friend for oh so many reasons.
They don’t talk back, stab you in that back, cheat, steal or lie to you. They don’t ask a million questions (stupid or otherwise). And they don’t tell you what you want to hear…
Your car is just there for you twenty four-seven for years upon years if you take care of them the way you wish you were taken care of.
Had a massage lately? Anyone draw you a bath and lovingly rub you down? Polish and feed you without ever asking for anything in return?
No? Yes (you lucky bastard)?

Reasonably good day today. Spent most of it washing the car, cleaning the wheels, toweling it dry, then applying paint sealant, buffing it off (oh God it was so gorgeous reflecting the clouds) cleaning the dashboard and windows… then just smiling. Ha.
Still smiling. My car makes me smile.

I’ll vacuum it out tomorrow… that’s the one part I don’t care for all that much.
; )

Oh and happy hour… that was fun too!
Gonna kick back now, make a cup of tea and watch some tv.
Don’t watch much tv but I feel like it tonight. No idea what’s on.

I feel one of those political posts coming on… so far trying not to give in. Hmm.

G’night

Laura