In with the new MX 5 Miata and out with those Starbuck Lattes!

Love My Car.Brandeee New Mazda MX 5 Miata PRHT Grand Touring in Stormy Mica Blue. Manual 6- Speed of course!
It’s really fun to drive, corners nicely, hugs the road and I LOVE the turning radius.

Kinda like the MG that I wish they had created way back when…

I managed to drive 100 miles somehow going nowhere in particular in a day. lol
Shhhh I think my husband likes it too.

********
On another front I’ve given up my daily Starbuck venti latte.
I just realized that my 7 day a week coffee habit added at least 2000 extra calories each week.
That’s the calories of one day extra of food each and every week…

No wonder that no matter how little I seemed to eat I didn’t lose weight. Sigh.

So the the lattes are gone as of last weekend and I’ve been struggling with headaches and tiredness as a result that a cup of tea with a little 2% milk in it doesn’t begin to touch. Damn caffeine jones.
I think I’m winning though.
My son is trying to quit smoking (using the nicotine patches) so if he can do that I can lose those lattes.

Picking up my exercise and watching what I eat… so I should hopefully begin to lose some weight.
Cholesterol and Blood Pressure up etc. Gotta lose weight for health.
Taking the challenge!

G’night
And have a pleasant tomorrow…

Laura

The MX 5 Miata it is…

Well, I finally decided upon driving the V6 Mustang and the MX 5 Miata back to back at a number of dealers.
The MX 5 it is!
I know it’s not a practical car. I know it’s small and only seats two…
But it’s so damn much fun to drive.
Besides driving it makes me smile and it’s been a long time since a car made me laugh out loud.

I got the Power Retractable Hard Top Grand Touring MX 5 Miata in Stormy Blue Mica with a manual tranny of course!!!
I agonized a bit over the extra expense of the hard top when the soft would be perfectly fine but I will be using the car pretty much all year round except in snow (we don’t get that much) and no garage for now. So the hard top looks like the better choice. Gives it that true coupe look I have to say.

I pick it up tomorrow around noon.
Can’t wait to take it away and kick it out a bit.

I haven’t been keeping my thoughts up here the way I was before my mom passed away the end of May.
I’ve been completely out of sorts. Aside from my husband and kids I only have my brother left from my immediate family (we were a very small clan indeed). Very sad still. Very off center.
There hasn’t been a day that I don’t go to the phone to call my mom. Hate being in the house without her there.
I don’t like going through her things and we have no idea what we’re going to do with the house.
Certainly not a good time to sell a house and it’s in disrepair. My brother is living there for now. Sigh.
I want my mother back, I miss her every day. I want to talk to her, make her laugh, hear her voice.

Can’t seem to pull my thoughts together at all and just don’t have much to say it seems.
But I’m going to try to write more here again. Get back to politics and things on my mind.

Maybe the MX 5 will help clear a little fog away from my mind at least while I’m driving anyway.

I’ll have someone here take a picture or two of me in the car to post.
Windy, bendy, curvy road here I come.

G’night,

Laura

Somebody help me figure out this car thing…

Porsche of my dreams

Okay ideally in some alternative universe I would actually own a Porsche 911 GT2 in Aqua Blue Metallic but that alas is out of my lifetime budget in this dimension.
But man oh man would I love to drive one of those puppies.
I’d never get out of the damn thing I assure you, because I absolutely love to drive.
Did I mention I only drive manual? Auto trannys are for babies.
A five year old can put a car in drive…
Stick is the only way to go. And getting harder to routinely find.
531 hp, 0 to 60 in 3.6, 0 to 100 in 7.4 seconds.
Oh, Oh, Oh, My God, Oh my God.
But hey it only starts at around $194,000. Sigh.
Know any wealthy folk that don’t want their sports cars anymore?

Anyway, I married well, but not that Porsche 911 well, and for love which these days is saying something. My field isn’t known for it’s high paying jobs. Ah well.
Four kids and 35 years later we’re still together and my youngest son graduated High School yesterday. YAY! Hallelujah and Happy Days.
Don’t have to be driving everyone around anymore.

So here’s my dilemma and for me it’s a huge one:

I’m going to buy a new car this coming month…

I’ve always bought a conservative car with good gas mileage and all that stuff.
I’ve owned one Plymouth Duster, one Chevy Nova, a Rambler (yup push button with tail fins and all) which were followed by an assortment of eight various Toyotas of different size and shape that I commuted to college and transported kids in.
My current Toyota Corolla Sport has around 165,000 miles on it.

But now everyone’s all growed up and getting around in their own cars for the most part.
And we do have a van if everyone absolutely had to go somewhere at once (hasn’t happened in quite a long time now).
Now mommy gets to buy something FUN to drive around. FINALLY.
While I’m still relatively sane too!

This is the bottom line:

I can afford either a Mustang V-6 (don’t need the power of the GT V-8 though it is pretty awesome) I’ve driven four different Mustangs now. By the way women that drive only manual really confuse car salesmen. It either seems to surprise them, amuse them or annoy them.
The Premium V-6 is sweet, powerful and fun to shift… but gas mileage is a bit sucky (17/26).
Nice body, smoother, has far more space, really can move when you kick it in.

or my second choice:

MX 5 Miata

The Mazda MX 5, yea, that would be the Miata. (I always loved the little MG’s when they ran that is) The MX 5 is fairly dependable and incredibly fun to drive in a totally different way from the Mustang.
Feels like I’m part of the car not just a driver.
Drove a Hardtop MX 5 Grand Touring model and they handed me the keys and said drive it.
This surprised jaded, cynical me. They didn’t question that I really did know how to drive manual.
Top down, sunny day, absolutely delightful. Not as powerful as the Mustang but sticks to the road and the clutch is a beauty. The Miata is a gorgeous car but perfectly impractical.
Two seater, not much storage space, blah… blah… blah… Sigh.

The power of the Mustang and gorgeousness of the exterior/interior is inspiring. Nice ride.
The drivability of the MX 5 in tight turns makes me laugh out loud.

How the hell do you make that kind of decision?

I could just go buy yet another Toyota, or for that matter a Civic, Mazda 3, or something comparable and conservative… and responsible… and… and… yes… Boring.

It’s been a very long time.
Help!
Laura
*

A house full of memories and even more stuff…

*
I’ve been helping my brother go through my mother’s things at the house.
There is a lot of cleaning to do and she kept old bills and other papers from the past 20 years it seems.
Then there’s clothing, canned goods and a lifetime of mismatched items in the house.
Which is oddly very much like my house where after 4 kids, my husband and I the house is full of choice items
acquired through thrift shops, yardsales, friends and family’s discards and purchased from exclusive stores like Ikea, Sears and Target. Mostly scratched, dented, chipped, nicked, glued or missing some part…

At any rate I still can’t seem to come to terms with this whole thing.
I’d rather not do anything at all in a way but it’s not possible.
I don’t like going through all her stuff. Honestly I hate it.
Yes, there’s sentimental value to some of it but the rest were the things she collected over a lifetime.

Someday my life will be put into boxes and sifted through, boxed donated and yardsaled. Sigh.
And perhaps some well worn item of mine will be bought by someone else and end up another day in another box.
Circle of life my friend.

All this rain in NY isn’t helping my dark mood today.
When exactly is summer coming? Windy, pouring, damp and unpleasant all day AGAIN.
Need some sun, need a lot of sun.

Picking out a picture of a Lotus Flower (Water or Pond Lily) from the images and drawings I have collected to place in the empty space between my mother and father’s names on the stone we picked out. It will take around five or six weeks for the stone to come at least that’s what I think they said. Then I guess they carve the names and dates on it.

I’m kinda forgetful, scattered in thought, discouraged and tired of everyone right about now.
I feel very unsettled about this whole thing still.
Still just numb…
I miss my mother very, very much.

Going to bed to hopefully catch some of that elusive sleep thing.
Doubtful on a normal night… tonight wind is whipping around house and still raining.
Yay.

G’night,

Laura
*

Last mention of the Letterman-Palin Feud (unless they actually fire him which would be ridiculous)

I find it hard to believe that a joke clearly about Bristol Palin by David Letterman has gotten so much media attention.
The joke wouldn’t have made any sense if it was about anyone other than Bristol Palin but then it’s not as sensational a story.

Today there’s pressure to fire Letterman… seriously?
I would not be happy if someone made such a joke about one of my children and I would likely have complained about it…
BUT this is totally blown out of proportion.
Sarah Palin parades her children out when it suits her and then attacks when people comment on it.
I feel sorry for the younger Palin girls who now have been made a spectacle of again.
Someone asked if the joke was made about one of the Obama’s kids if all hell wouldn’t have broken loose.
Yea, sure- especially since they’re both under 18 and neither one is a single parent.

Grow up. Bad taste. Unfunny joke. Not the cause of all that is ill in the country.
Could we go back to REAL news now…?
You know the stuff that REALLY matters!

Apparently freedom of speech only applies to “some” people. Interesting.
I remember McCain making quite a few off color in very bad taste jokes over the years-
(the Chelsea Clinton joke “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.” was from 1998.)
Talk about insensitivity to young women’s self esteem. Yet Sarah had no problem running with him as VP.

********
I have no idea where this country is. This is what masquerades as news these days?

Important stuff out there in case the media has forgotten:
Home grown terrorism waiting in the wings (anti-government pro-gun: always a great combination) like James von Brunn.
Iran’s election results and aftermath.
The economy. Bank Bailouts. Automotive industry. Mortgage and foreclosure disasters.
War in Iraq/Afghanistan.
Health care reform.
Gas prices going up yet again even though…

Well you get the idea.

There must have been a collective cringe amongst all comedians and talk show hosts this past week.
Though not many of them stepped forward to defend David though they have all done equally awful jokes.
David did apologize. He seemed to mean it.
We’ve all heard far worse on the air but I guess it wasn’t about the Palins.

This is not news. Stop all ready.

************
Interesting CBS fired Don Imus (who I’m no fan of) for his rude and in bad taste comments about a women’s basketball team yet who was truly surprised by them. I thought he was known for being offensive almost every day of the year. Ooops.
Letterman’s track record stands up. Been watching him for what seems like forever. Sorry Sarah your complaint has been heard, it’s gotten more air time than it deserved and you need to back AWAY from the video feeds now.

We get it: Tasteless joke/Bad David/Sarah Angry/Dave sorry/World goes on bleeding…

G’night.

Laura

Espada Jr., Monserrate, Palin, Letterman… back to the news and this is it?

*
Finally starting to watch the news again and am very upset with NY State Legislators:
Most notably: Pedro Espada Jr. of the Bronx and Hiram Monserrate of Queens.
The control of the state senate has moved over to the republicans for all intents and purposes right now.

Now of course as with what seems like all our politicians these days both men have legal troubles as the NY Times reported. “Highlighting the often elastic nature of ethical stands and alliances in Albany, Republicans who earlier this year were calling on Mr. Monserrate to resign after his indictment on felony charges that he stabbed his companion with a broken glass are now welcoming him as part of their power-sharing coalition.
While Mr. Espada has been fined tens of thousands of dollars over several years for flouting state law by not disclosing political contributions.”

“Democrats were pushing bills to give tenants more rights, strengthen abortion rights and legalize same-sex marriage this session. And the move underscores the continuing tumult of New York politics, where there have been three governors in less than three years and four Senate presidents since last summer.”

Gov. David A. Paterson, at a news conference Monday evening, called the move “an outrage” and said Albany had become a “dysfunctional wreck.”

Well, I don’t know about a dysfunctional wreck but maybe a complete joke. Yea.

All right NY State get your act together. I’m so sick of the infighting.
Sick of the corruption on both sides of the fence.
Sick of pretending that we are progressive leaders in the USA anymore.

Sick of believing that our government is really on our side when so often it’s only in the interest of money brokers, wealthy special interest lobbyists and big business.

While we all exist on the crumbs you throw our way and why the hell can’t we behave and be thankful anyway?
Greedy corrupt bastards all around.

I’ve been proud to be from NY all my life but recently I can honestly say I’m not happy at all.
I seriously don’t know if I even want to be here anymore.
And if you knew me at all you’d know that says a lot.

Good luck Barack Obama seems like you might need a lot of it.
*************

Sarah Palin: Please shut up about David Letterman.
Enough. You had our sympathy the first thousand times you mentioned it. Everywhere.
You’re sounding shrill and just as offensive at this point as he was.
But you can’t see it can you?
It’s too bad he made the joke. He’s a comedian with a talk show…
How about you play fair dearest damsel in distress (or was it a lipstick smeared pit bull I forget) and take Limbaugh or O’Reilly to task for the hateful ugly things they say about people:
Oh wait I know why you won’t: I forgot.
YOU agree with them so that makes it different. Oh you betcha.
Won’t 2012 be fun guys and gals?

The candle of freedom of speech burns hot and fast from both ends.
Just wondering sometimes what the hell we’re gonna be left with.

***********
On June 3rd I wrote this about the recent loss of my mother on May 30:
“I don’t know exactly what I feel right now.
Just incredibly weird.
Like something’s horribly wrong but I can’t wrap my mind around it.
I’m not numb at least not yet. I’m not angry either.
But I know myself well enough to know both are coming.
I hope I’ll be ready.”

Nothing has changed. I still reach for the phone to call her every day. I still feel basically the same.
My world is way off kilter but not enough for me to come to terms with where I am in time and place.
I can’t go back to where I was before.
I can’t realistically stay where I am now and I can’t move towards where I’ve never been before.
Not yet anyway.

I realize this makes no sense except maybe to me.
I completely get where I am now, I’ve known this day would come.
It’s just that I’m not sure what to do with myself. Don’t want to upset anyone unduly but…
And I have a lifetime worth of anger I couldn’t express because I would never hurt my mother…
Not that we never disagreed but I felt my mother had enough to deal with without my adding to it.
Do I need grief counseling? Maybe.
Oddly enough right now I have little to nothing to say.
Don’t have the words.

G’night,

Laura

On Losing My Mother…

My mother Ruth 1919-2009

On a few of the many nights I was staying with my mom this past month I brought my computer along.
I found for the most part this wrote itself over the course of a few very quiet periods in the wee hours of the night.
I’m still trying to get used to sleeping at night again. I keep picking up the phone to call my mom and talk then realize I can’t.
Writing is the one way I express myself, though mostly unpublished someday I hope I will finish one of the books I’ve got on my computer.
I tried to upload a word document but gave up after a while and added a page to my site just for the tribute.

If you want to read my feelings and thoughts please click on the page at the top next to “Home and Laura” titled “Losing My Mom.”
It is personal and I hope it brings her to life for just a moment in your mind.
I doubt I’ll ever stop missing my mother.

Laura

Missing my mom…

My mom passed away this Saturday morning.
We did the wake and a brief graveside tribute.

My brother and I have been taking shifts for about a month (his daytime, mine the over night hours since I’m a night owl anyway)
It took me a bit to get used to being awake all night but I got used to it.
Now I’m trying to get back to my normal sleep patterns.
*

Mom had terminal cancer and up until this past month could get around on her own with only a little help.
The month of May was different, she got very weak and unable to do the things she always could before.
It was very hard to watch her fail so quickly.
A Hospice nurse came in once a day for a few hours to check on her and we did everything else.
We were determined to keep her in her own home in peace with constant care instead of in a hospital or nursing home.
I feel very proud that we were able to do that for her and give her the attention and complete care that she deserved.
She was 89 years old and I miss her very much all ready.

I was there when she passed quietly in the early morning.
Now her house feels so odd to me. I want her to be there in her chair.
I don’t want to go through her things.
*

I rarely got more than 2-3 hours a day sleep which creates interesting havoc on your state of mind but I sort of got used to it.
I have a family and a son graduating high school this June.
All this in the middle of proms and class trips just for the one son.
I have one other son at home (he’s 20) and a daughter who for now is staying here too.
Our oldest son came in from Washington DC where he lives and just went back today.
Ours is a very small clan.
I realized this week that my husband who lost both his parents by twenty was very upset by my mom’s passing too.
He’s known her for over 40 years now.

I’m tired. Worn out, weary and just want to hide out for a while, but it never works out that way around here.
I don’t know exactly what I feel right now.
Just incredibly weird.
Like something’s horribly wrong but I can’t wrap my mind around it.
I’m not numb at least not yet. I’m not angry either.
But I know myself well enough to know both are coming.
I hope I’ll be ready.
*

I have some thoughts I wrote on my laptop very late one night that I want to share.
I will post them tomorrow night.
For now I could really use some sleep.

G’night,

Laura

No news is bad news…

This post really has nothing at all to do with the actual news today.
As an incurable news junkie I feel remiss because I can’t seem to watch any news right now.
I can’t seem to care.
Hard pressed to watch even the entertaining things like Jon Stewart, Colbert or even Bill Maher.
I can’t get angry at Obama, Limbaugh, or Dick Cheney. I truly want to but I can’t.
Haven’t watched the news consistently since about a week ago. Not at all in the past few days.
I miss it too. But when I put the news on my mind seems to wander off or shut down.
Who are all these people, what the hell is wrong with everyone and everything?
Where is the good news?

Back when I was hot and bothered by waterboarding, Congresswoman Foxx, swine flu, the economy, health care, bank bail outs and Pakistan I could talk for hours, now I have trouble concentrating on getting the mail or what I’m going to do about my car without any money. Just doesn’t matter.

What has happened that’s different this past week?
My mother is very sick and it looks serious this time.
Which I was dealing with as best I could until a few days ago.
Now I’m just numb.
And as far as I can see the world and it’s news will go on just fine without me as it always has regardless of my opinions.
Leaders will go on screwing big things up and fixing little things happily without me caring or watching.
It really doesn’t matter.

Maybe what I’m feeling isn’t really numbness, it’s the sheer utter terror of a child afraid of the dark disguised as numb.
Because somehow an “adult” can deal with numb.
Or can we?

I guess I’ll find out over the next few days.

I’ll leave O’Reilly and Olbermann to duke it out over the what they call the news these days.

A morning post that isn’t at 2am… an oddity for me.
Not sleeping all that well anyhow and yes, I do realize I’m tired, overwhelmed and probably depressed.
A very odd Mother’ Day for me.
And yet another long, long day on Long Island starts.

They say no news is good news but that really isn’t all that true is it?

Laura

Congresswoman Foxx’s statements about Matthew Shepard’s death were a hoax! Wait: you mean it wasn’t… she actually did said that?

Yet once again I find myself astounded by the fact that our representatives don’t think before they speak. I’m talking about the North Carolina Republican Congresswoman that said that Matthew Shepard’s death in 1998 wasn’t a hate crime. It shouldn’t be used as an example in support of a bill to expand on the definition of hate crimes to include violence motivated by sexual orientation.

Congresswoman Virginia Foxx states:
“We know that young man was killed in the commitment of a robbery. It wasn’t because he was gay,” Foxx said during debate. “The bill was named for him, the hate-crimes bill was named for him, but it’s really a hoax that continues to be used as an excuse for passing these bills.”

After the shit hit the fan, Ms. Foxx stated: “The term ‘hoax’ was a poor choice of words used in the discussion of the hate crimes bill,” “Mr. Shepard’s death was nothing less than a tragedy, and those responsible for his death certainly deserved the punishment they received.”
Um, yea no doubt about it.

I’m so sick of people making such cavalier statements… so callous and thoughtless. Hate crimes are hate crimes. Civil rights are due to all across our nation and freedom from fear for their safety should be too. Hatred breeds hatred.
But then again the way death threats are thrown around whenever someone disagrees with someone else on an emotional issue (or almost any issue it seems) these days I’m starting to wonder if we’ll ever accomplish the tolerance and acceptance our forefathers had hoped we would towards all our people in this nation.
*

In the age of news clips on rotation 24-7, You Tube and other media you would think that people would be more aware of what they say. It’s too late when you’ve made such an asinine statement to retract it. The damage is done.

Think about it Ms. Foxx: What exactly did you mean to say?
Do you think there are no hate crimes against gay or lesbian Americans? Do you believe that expanding a hate crime bill is somehow a bad idea? Do you believe that even if Matthew Shepard’s death wasn’t a hate crime (and I do NOT believe that for a second) that violent crimes against gay citizens shouldn’t be carry the same weight as other hate crime victims? Do you believe that Matthew’s death wasn’t a hate crime? Because you somehow KNOW better? Really what did you want to say? Please elaborate because I can’t begin to fathom it out. Enlighten us.

According to ABC News Foxx spokesman Aaron Groen said the congresswoman relied on articles that she later realized were faulty and especially regrets upsetting the Shepard family. He said she declined further comment.

Oh yes, that makes everything better. She was ignorant of the actual circumstances under which Matthew Shepard died and spoke anyway or she relied on someone’s research that said what exactly about his death…? Certainly not what most people believe.
Next time Congresswoman do the research yourself, take five seconds online.
As a matter of fact Virginia dear, I would have expected a government representative to know more about a most jarring case that caught the nation’s attention because of it’s nature.
*

Matthew Shepard’s death was horrible. That is not the way most robberies end, it went far above and beyond.
Ms. Foxx’s statements are outrageous. Please find a better representative North Carolina, or demand more from this one that you have.
And her explanation: weak and mind numbingly lame… It was just “a poor choice of words?” or “I didn’t have the facts.”

Yet again I suggest people think before they open their mouths to speak. T h i n k. Please.
I also suggest people take more of an active interest in those they elect (and therefore hire) to represent them in government.
Some of the things Senators and Congresspeople have said recently are downright shocking.
I don’t want to have a beer with any of them and I hope they only drink on their own time.
I want them to be intelligent, well informed and educated enough to run this country somewhere other than into the ground.

The House did pass the bill: The Matthew Shepard Act officially: The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2007.
Now it has to go through the Senate. Let’s hope it passes. If you read up on this- it’s an important update to The 1969 federal hate-crime law for numerous reasons.

Nothing more to say.

G’night,

Laura